Body Love

I have almost always been ok with my body. Yes, there were times where I wanted to lose weight to have a better body, look better in clothes. There was a time that I tried bulimia. But now I want to lose weight, tighten muscles, to run longer, faster. Swim smoother. Live longer. I've gotten comfortable in body and have grown to love it. At 37 i'm comfortable enough to wear a bathing suit with exposed stomach. That backless shirt with a crazy awesome bra.

In exploring this new "body love" a unique opportunity popped up. An artist needed nude models for a photo shoot in Cleveland. I knew that I had to apply.

"During the majority of my life I have heard that I need to lose weight. That I was chunky. That I would never get a boyfriend at my weight. Up until about 8 years ago I was self conscious about it. I have now come to accept my body and love it the way it is. I run and do triathlons because they are fun. I do crossfit for the camaraderie. I'd like to use this photo/installation opportunity as a coming out for my body. That I love it the way it is. 

I am also a huge liberal and advocate for equal rights. The fact that this is happening during the RNC may help raise their awareness for equalality for women."

Sadly, he was only taking 100 women when normally he uses all that show up. The acceptance emails went out in early July and unfortunately I was not chosen. But I'm so happy I applied. And, who know's this was his second time here, maybe he'll come back and I can pose then.

By the way, the shoot seems to have gone well. You can also read about it in Esquire.

How Very Double Standard of You

**Warning frank sex discussion**

Paul Avril lithograph

I recently went on a date with a guy that I met online, obviously. We had things in common. Mutually found each other attractive. And had pretty great early conversations. I'm not sure how this conversation took a turn but it went very sexual after an hour or two.

I was raised in a family that was very open about all topics. And as a consequence I'm fairly open with discussing just about everything. So if some one asks me a direct question I'm going to give an honest answer.

The conversation with the dude consisted of what we like and don't like. What was the worst thing ever said to you during sex? Mine, "lets have a baby." Said to me by the side dish carpenter a month ago. Then the next question to me was "do you enjoy anal or butt play?" FYI, I do not. The guy seemed to want more info or seemed to think that he could convince me that it was for me. That some how it just wasn't done right in the past. So I decided to turn the question around. Did he enjoy it, on himself? He was rather shocked that I would ask this because he's a dude and no penis is going in his ass. But that's not the only thing that can be used. And when I pointed that out he was very adamant that he would not enjoy that and nothing was coming near him.

I found his reply to be a double standard and called him out on it.

If it's not ok for you why would you think it would be ok for me? Biologically, I would think it would men would be more inclined to have anal sex because of the prostate gland. I'm not sure what women would get out of anal sex? Some say the Gspot is better stimulated.

Please understand, I am not judging anyone who partakes in and enjoys anal intercourse. I just know it is not for me. AND, I know that if you want/expect one partner to partake in something the other partner should too.

Reasons for straight men

Ghosting

I'm trying to learn the art. I was talking to this guy and we went out a few times, 3 to be exact. I questioned whether to continue after the second date but went on the third to make sure of my decision. Shortly after the third date he left the country for a little over a week. A week after he got back I left the country for a week. I kind of thought in that time apart he would just get distracted and
I wouldn't have to really do anything. I took the route of GHOSTING. I never texted him first and took a while in returning his, if I returned them. I'm hoping he finally is getting the hint. I haven't heard from him in bit.  

**Update, I wrote this a few days ago and since i haven't heard from the guy in 4 days I'm going with success. 

****update#2, I actually wrote this a month ago, and have just received a text asking how my Easter was. It's been a month!

Now the article is defending ghosting in a relationship. I don't know if I would be ok with ghosting after a REAL relationship. I'm ok ghosting if the "relationships" were short or not even real relationships and no sex was involved.

Lotion. Basket

This is an actual email I got on POF this week. First, who thinks that's a great opening? Second, where am I to go with it?

As to the last part, I have a setting on my profile that people can't send me emails under a certain length. I thought it would prevent getting, "What up?" But it hasn't really, because now I get, "What up? hjkadkjhdk;oand fhei fkla dkfjioaif "

The joys of POF

I can only assume that this is one of three situations.

1) He's one of those guys that thinks sending a fishing email will start a conversation between us. 

      -His email,

      - I email back with something like, "Oh, that's not me. I think you have the wrong person."

     - To which he responds with, "I'm sorry but hey you're cute. Let's chat."

   *This won't fly with me.

Or

2) He guenuinely has the wrong person.

Or 

3) Some one has hacked my account. 

And trust me, his screen name is a lie! And I can assure you I do not send pictures of my ONE cat to anyone unless asked for them (MOM).

Wonderful Days

I spent all of last week in Jamaica.....and it was AMAZING! I was down there for my sisters wedding which turned out gorgeous. The day was perfect and the setting was crazy awesome. The pictures from people with real cameras (not like my iPhone) look like they are photo shopped. They were not. The ceremony and reception after went wonderfully well. I even stayed up late to party with everyone after hours.










I must have partied hard because when I woke up the next morning I was missing the shellac polish off of ONE toenail. I don't even know how that is possible.




I didn't realize how tense and emotional I have been this year until the day after the wedding when I got a 90 min deep tissue massage. The masseuse even asked about all the knots in my should blade area. To be fair, I always get knots there, it's not strictly related to the wedding. Being back to my real life now I feel completely relaxed and different than I felt before I left. It may be that I was just in need of a great, wonderful, and happy wedding/vacation.

I'm so happy for my sister and NOW brother-in-law. They're perfect together and I can't wait to watch them go through life together.



This last bit is just a great article and if you didn't know which way I leaned politically, you do now.
It probably should be separate from this post because it is about the single woman but.....I read the article while in Jamaica. I actually read it while drinking coffee on my balcony one morning.

Vaccines and Promiscuity

I haven't written much about my sisters upcoming nuptials. It's not my story and it doesn't have anything to do with running or dating. However, I am going to share a little story about something that just happened.

As you may or may not know the wedding will be taking place in Jamaica (YAY!!) shortly. Last week I called my doctor (after sitting in my 2nd Parasitology class this semester) to ask for a prophylactic anti parasitic drug to take with me. Just in case I ate/drank the wrong thing. When I told the receptionist where I was going and why I was calling she informed me that I needed to get vaccines for the trip. I was in disbelief. It's only Jamaica, not India or Pakistan (not that those are terrible places just a little more war torn/3rd world).

While waiting for the receptionist to talk to the doctor I quickly got on the CDC website and found that sure as shit I needed vaccines! Two in fact. Hepatitis A and Typhoid. I made my appointment! Then informed my family, who promptly laughed at me. Well, we'll see who's laughing when they are laid low with typhoid fever! I mean, we are talking about a bacteria, Salmonella typhi, that has played a role in wars! I may be the at the top of the food chain but I know my place with respect to bacteria and parasites.



My appointment was yesterday and I must say I love my doctor. She did refuse to give me and anti parasitic but sat and talked to me about the up coming trip. We went through the vaccines and what each was for and how long I'd be immune. I do need to get a HepA booster in 6 months if I want immunity for life (I do). In the process of talking she asked if I had any intentions of getting pregnant any time soon....Uh, no. If it had been yes she would have advised me to not go to Jamaica. The Zilka virus in running rampant in the Caribean and not enough is known about it yet. My Doc then kind of smiled at me and gave me a sly look and asked if I was thinking of taking a Jamaican lover while there. My reply was to laugh and say my sister thinks it's an option for me but I'm sure that would require a couple more vaccines! And it would. She just wanted to cover all bases and make me safe.

I am now GOOD TO GO! Both arms are a bit sore, 0.5ml typhoid vaccine in one and a WHOLE ml HepA vaccine in the other. I was shocked when I saw the HepA and fully expected a bump on my arm.

On a side note: The healthcare system that my Doc belongs to has started a new service, a healthcare coach. The "coach" came in to talk to me before my Doc and briefly explained who and what she was. She then asked me if I needed any coaching for my healthcare. I don't even know what that would involve! I said no and waited for my Doc. When the doctor came in she asked me about the coach and if I had excepted the coach. I told her I found it ridiculous and ranked it up next to "life coaches." I mean really? You need a coach for life? She laughed and said that was her opinion too but you know...the system wants it.