Goodbye 2015

Before

Or, as I like to refer to it, "The laziest year EVER!!"

I did nothing last year. I barely ran, did Crossfit, or cross train. I accomplished one house update and one race. It's been a struggle to keep the house clean, to cook, to eat healthy. To basically live my life.

ENOUGH is ENOUGH!

It's time to get my life in order. To train like I want. To eat as I should. To race to the best of my abilities.

After

As I type this I am laying on my couch trying to breath through my nose. I have a terrible head cold but I am using the down time constructively. I have written a training schedule. I have listed a few races I want/will do, including a 1/2 IM. Training begins January 11!

An odd day to begin, right? Why not January 1st? Because I had some work done. And by work I mean INK. In 1997 at the tender young age of 18 I got my first tattoo. A purple poison dart frog. After 18 years it was in bad shape and I had decided to get it recolored.

Also, I have always wanted another but I never knew what. Or where. About 3 years ago I knew I wanted one that some how tied me to running. But I didn't want the typical, "26.2" or "1/2IM".  Then I saw the molecular structure for met-enkephalon on Pinterest. It spoke to me. It is related to the runners high. It ties my science life to my running life. So I looked into it.

It wasn't solely responsible for the runners high and I wasn't satisfied with using PERMENANTLY on my body. My next option was dopamine, serotonin, and norepinephrine. I had it all played out. But the more I thought about it the more I knew there had to be a better option. AND THERE WAS!

ATP

ATP, or adenosine triphosphate. ATP is responsible for transporting chemical energy within cells for metabolism. It is basically the only reason you can do anything. You want to run? Need some ATP. Want to go for a swim or just breath in the sun? Definitely need ATP. It is the most basic "food" needed for anything you want to do. An it was perfect to tie my science life to my running life.

Hopefully the new tattoo with light a fire under my ass....

Put a Ring on It

Now that my sister's wedding shower is over I can share this gem of a texteration. I'm not going to go into the shower cause this is not that kind of blog. Suffice it to say it was beautiful, fun, and everything I wanted and she hoped it would be.

Now, this is a textertion between myself and one of my best friends of about 20 years. We met in 1993 to give you a scale of the friendship.

So Long George

When I left off with George I was getting ready to go to his place for an evening. And I did. And it was pretty fun. Yes, he made innuendos and played the "let's watch this movie in my room" card. But I kept it all PG and had a great time. He even quoted Friends which DID score him some brownie points. However, I did not like his persistence on the whole sex front and I did not appreciate what he said to me about my clothing. The clothing comment boiled down to no girl wearing what I was wearing would come over expecting to ONLY watch a movie. It sniffed of victim blaming. I would like to point out that I was wearing leggings and a tank top.

I brushed this off, thinking maybe he doesn't hear himself. And the fact that we got along in every other way. We had the banter down. The teasing. The chemistry.

And then he came over to my house.

I saw him pull in but it was 5 min and he still hadn't come to the door. What was he doing you ask? Pulling the weeds/grass out of the cracks in my driveway. "No girl who is a friend of mine is going to live like the Clampets." Then he asked where my mower was cause my grass was not to the height he felt it should be. I will say that I haven't mowed in awhile and the grass was a bit high. But not so high that it was obnoxious.

After I talked him out of mowing, we went inside to discuss dinner and the evening. I was in the kitchen and when I turned around he was gone. Where could he have gone? Mind you, this is the first time he's been in my house. I found him sprawled out on my BED! WTF dude!? Ok, maybe he's just overly familiar. I rolled with it.

Dinner. He didn't want what I had prepared previously, so we went to Whole Foods and he picked up some prepared foods for himself. I ate what I already had. After dinner, though, we were relaxing on the couch watching Breaking Bad and bantering back and forth.....

and then he says, "Lets go in your room and watch this."
Well, we can't do that. I don't have a working tv in there, so the ploy is not work able. Then he says he just wants to go in there and cuddle, talk, and just relax together. I didn't see why we couldn't do that on the couch.

After a few back and forth like this he says, "If we don't go in there I'm going home."

DONE! See ya!

He left and I haven't talked to him since.

Brownie Points

I am dating (in the loose sense of the word) George Clooney!

Ok, not the real George but close enough he could pass for his pudgier brother. According to him I am not the first person to think this. On the first date George wanted to take a selfie. I find this odd, my friends find it cute. The date itself was ok. Obviously, he's attractive. He's funny. Attentive. But the date itself had an interview feel to it with rapid fire questions. He kisses well, though.

48 hours later found me on a second date with him. Let me say that again FOURTY EIGHT HOURS!!
On a Tuesday. So many reservations... Maybe it was a strike while the irons hot sort of thing.

 Now, you know me. I'm old, I have a routine. I wake at 5-510am to go to the gym, so I'm in bed around 9-930. Week day date nights are not my favorite but he wanted to go to FIRE and I've been dying to go there for 8 years.

Then he wanted to pick me up. More reservations! Second date, he now knows were I live. If the date goes bad I can't escape to my car and leave. The date is no longer on my time table.

Ok, breath. I can give up a little control. And I did. He picked me up. We went to dinner. I found out he has MS (not sure how I feel on this). He hasn't had a consistant job. He's still bitter about his divorce (rather fresh). He has children. That is the extent of what I know. I feel like I know nothing of substance from him. He jokes a lot, to the point where I don't know if he's joking or for real.

The real point of this post is this gem:

When we get back to my house (8:45), he pulls ALL the way up my drive and parks in front of my garage. Guys I dated for 6 months and actually stayed the night never did this! He proceeds to act like he's coming in at which point I ask what he's doing..
"aren't you going to ask me in?"
"No. It's almost 9oclock and I need to go to bed for the gym in the morning."
"oh"
We sit in the car for a few minutes, talking with the occasional kiss. He then says:
"I would just like to point out that I think I should      get some brownie points."
"You do? For what?"
"I haven't touched your boobs or grabbed your ass all night."
"So, you think you get brownie points for being a decent human being, doing what normal people would do and not being a douchebag?"
"Yes, I've been a gentleman."
"No, you're being normal and asking for "points" kind of takes away from the whole "gelntleman" thing." I hope he thinks about this. Not sure it hit home.

He then asked me to spend an evening with him sometime this weekend. And by evening he means all night, but he'll sleep in another room if I want. I've agreed to see him again, like I said I feel I don't know the true George and observing him in his natural habitat may help. I did not agree to the sleep over. The only way that is going to happen is if I get VERY drunk or he drugs me. I'm taking pepper spray.

Stay tuned!
 PS. In rereading this I'd like to make a point. In telling/asking me to stay the night ahead of time he has basically cock blocked himself. Had he just let the night play out he would have gotten a lot further. That's the trouble with some guys that I've talked to. They want to know ahead of time if they are going to get "any." That is a turn off and makes the outcome 100% no. Had they just taken me for drinks, and played the night out and been a cool decent person then the odds are 50/50.

Sorry Continued

Earlier this week I got a notice that a Friend of mine tagged me in a VIDEO for me to watch.
If more guys watched this, we'd all be safer!

TRUTH

I can't tell you how many times this has been said to me.
And how many times I just want scream at the person saying it. 

Last months Runners World has an article, Ultra, that hits home in every way. I found myself wanting to highlight paragraphs for later. Wanting to cut out sections and frame them for daily affirmations. Everything this woman says speaks to me and my life.

The gist of the article is this, can you be fit and still be fat? The article follows an obese woman who runs ultras. She may not come in first but she also doesn't come in last. As I was reading it I wished that I had a highlighter with me. It is one of only a handful of RW articles that I have read multiple times.

I'm just going to leave it here with a few clips.

On a side not: I was talking with my nutritionist (did I tell you I have one now?) and she asked about my activity. I said I was getting back into the swing of my old 2years ago routine but running was still in issue. I wasn't running any long distances, you know just 4 miles. She side eyed me and said 4 miles is a long distance. Which I suppose is true but I'd like to get back to easy 10s.

Sorry, I'm Not Sorry

I know I've posted before about unsolicited dic pics. I find them extremely annoying.

You get a notification that you've got a text.
You open it expecting a "Good morning!" or "Hey, what are you up to today?"
And SURPRISE!! Here's my penis!
It's 9 o'clock in the fucking morning. I haven't heard from this guy in a little over a week mostly because he invited me to do something with him and then basically rescinded the offer within minutes because it would take me 45min to get to where he was. Which really pissed me off and I washed my hands of him. Also, I haven't seen him in over a month. And I actually haven't seen his penis in person. By the way, we had ONE date!

Here is my reaction:

I've kept a hint of said penis but removed most of it.
Not to protect him but to protect you. Cause nobody needs to see that.
I'd also like to point out that even if I had seen it in person I still would
not want it on my phone.

I had started to type "I'm sorry but..." But I wasn't sorry. He should be the one that is sorry and clearly he wasn't. I've found myself saying "I'm sorry but..." for a lot of things and have to stop myself. Why do a vast majority of women feel the need to be sorry for being assertive? This ARTICLE......

"I think it's because we haven't addressed the deeper meaning of these "sorry." To me, they sound like tiny acts of revolt, expressions of frustrations or anger at having to ask for what should be automatic. They are employed when a situation is so clearly not our fault that we think the apology will serve as a prompt for the person who should be apologizing.

It's a Trojan horse for genuine annoyance, a tactic left over from centuries of having to couch basic demands in palatable packages in order to get what we want. All that exhausting maneuvering is the etiquette equivalent of a vestigial tail."

is brilliant and I have resolved to stop being sorry for my feelings. My rights. My thoughts.
You may also want to check out this Amy Schumer sketch. You could also just google "women stop saying I'm sorry," and pull up a multitude of recent articles on the phenomenon.

(I also just noticed that my blog title begins with an apology, but I'm not changing it.
CAUSE I'M NOT SORRY!)